is something missing in your life?
did your dreams get chased away?
is cynicism creeping in to your thoughts?
I might know where you’re at…
You’ve done everything you were supposed to: you did well in school, maybe you even got an advanced degree, you landed a nice job and made your mark in your career. You found a partner who you love and who you’ve committed to, and maybe your small family is growing. Everything looks great on the outside, and by all measures you should feel proud of yourself and satisfied at the end of your days, like you made it, finally.
But you don’t. You feel tired, and disappointed. You find yourself thinking, this is it? This is what everyone wants? And you wonder why you feel so empty for having so much going for you. The days meld into each other and at the end of the week all you really want to do is escape into something… TV, booze, food, or a cave in the middle of nowhere. But your family needs you, so you show up with the little energy you have to let them know that they’re important to you. Then, at the end of the weekend you wonder why you feel exhausted when you’re supposed to feel rested. And you start all over again on Monday morning.
Somewhere inside you a little flame is still lit, though. It’s the remnant of your inner fire, the spark that knows there has to be something more to life. There’s got to be a way to do this differently. Maybe you’ve caught yourself thinking,
If I could just change my career…
If I could just go back to school…
If I could just make more art…
If my partner and I could just have more fun…
If I could just live the way I want to live…
The thing is, you may not know just how many people are walking through the world thinking these same things. Most people don’t talk about this, and they’re certainly not posting about it on facebook, or instagram. No one at the grocery store is talking about it; no one at your board meeting is talking about it; and it’s not water cooler talk at your workplace. We don’t talk about it because we’re worried we may be the only person who has so much, and it doesn’t seem to matter. Because we should feel happy. We should feel grateful. We should feel satisfied. But you’re not the only one.
So many of us grew up with an imprint of someone else’s ideas and dreams in our minds. The imprint stayed with us and fostered strong beliefs about what everything should look like: where we should go to school, who we should date and marry, what kind of work we should do, what kind of car we should drive, what kind of house we should live in, and on and on. All of the false badges of accomplishment accumulate over time, and eventually we’re overflowing with symbols of success that mean nothing to us. Eventually, we may wake up one day and find ourselves understanding that Talking Heads song Once in a Lifetime much more deeply.
The imprints and ensuing beliefs aren’t easy to look at, let alone change. They were born out of fear, and they stay in us because of fear. We fear letting go of structures that have been safe for us. We fear the process of finding something more authentic inside, because it might come with rejection from those who are important in our lives. We fear finding nothing. What if we open ourselves to something different, and can’t find anything? And we fear making changes that might disrupt everything, and everyone, in our lives.
The good news…
is that there are people like me out there who have made it their life’s work to help people like you. An experienced therapist can help you to identify the roadblocks to your satisfaction in life. We can work together to find the root of your fears and help you move forward in new and exciting ways. The other good news is that I’ve been through this, too, and really get it.
I help people learn how to identify the true feelings they have about their life and their relationships, and uncover their innate potential to work through these feelings in effective and meaningful ways. Learning how to manage overwhelming feelings is an important part of this process, and I teach my clients a number of different skills that can be helpful in approaching big feelings differently. In your work with me you can expect to develop an understanding of deeper relationship patterns that prevent your relationships from being safe and satisfying. You can expect to move through all of the fears that come along with being authentic and in integrity with yourself, so that you’re able to move through your daily life knowing you won’t let yourself down.
I approach my work most importantly with a belief that we all have the capacity to grow and heal, and that our resiliency can be a remarkable thing in our lives. I believe that with the right kind of support, our system will naturally move in the direction of health. I believe therapy is a collaborative endeavor and that I am an ally as much as I am a guide on your journey. I offer space, know when to be directive, and know when I need to hold someone accountable to themselves. I teach tools that can be used in a variety of situations, that have long-lasting positive effects. I’m also a neuroscience and psychology nerd, and educate my clients whenever it’s helpful. My formal training includes a graduate degree from Naropa University’s Transpersonal Wilderness Therapy Program (2005), Somatic Attachment Therapy training (2008), Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy training (2016), and a host of other smaller trainings over the years.
You might be thinking…
that even though much of this sounds true for you, and maybe someone can help, you’re not sure if it’s right for you. Maybe you’re thinking:
I can do this on my own.
I can’t afford therapy right now.
I don’t want to open up to a complete stranger.
Thoughts like these can stem from the deeper fear that therapy won’t be effective, or that your therapist won’t be trustworthy, or skilled enough. We worry that our money will be wasted, or that we’ll open up to someone, take an emotional risk, and nothing will come of it. Worse yet, we worry that we’ll be hurt in some way by someone who we don’t know or trust. These are all legitimate and understandable fears. I take your investment in this process very seriously, and because I’ve been in therapy for my own healing and growth, I know that the process of finding someone to work with can feel like a big risk.
For fifteen years I’ve been helping people evolve through tough roadblocks that have prevented them from living their most authentic life. Everyone’s journey is different. With the right kind of support my clients were able to get to that place where their lives were no longer someone else’s; where they felt the space to be and do what they felt was right.
I’ve gone through my own journey of confronting the fears that were preventing me from being who and what I truly am, inside and out. I had to learn how to shed the expectations and imprints that were not mine, and forge my own path, made from my own longings and desires. In my own journey I circled back many times to places of self-doubt, anxiety, and fear, and I understand on a visceral level that these places need the most tending and care. With that attention, the growth can happen. Finding my genuine connection with the world around me has allowed me to experience my creativity and my life’s purpose on a daily basis.